Couch Slut - Take A Chance On Rock 'n' Roll Review

In our review of our favorite album of last year, The Austerity Program's Bible Songs 1 EP, we touched extremely briefly on a term known as 'The Uncanny Valley.' While I won't repeat what I said in that review, I can give you a brief summary of what was discussed; Basically, the Uncanny Valley describes something's likeness to humanity, particularly pertaining to robotics and advancements made in artificial intelligence. Originally described by Japanese professor Masahiro Mori, the concept explains that as robots appear more humanlike over time, we become more intrigued and appealed by their sensibilities, but only to a certain extent, after which point there is a significant plummet in interest, and in most cases, inverting completely, showing a repulsion to these objects.

In that review, we discussed the seeming inhumanity of the release, citing the drum machines nearly immaculately accurate but increasingly dissonant tonality as a primary example, with normal rock "clichés" squandered by walls of noise as a second. We loved this feeling of anxiety that resonated over the entire run-time, and if you have been following us for the past two years, you know this already (see Best Albums of 2018 - A Year In Review). What we've learned through these efforts, as well as those from the harsh noise and power electronics genres, is that noise rock consistently generates some of the most disturbing and abrasive sonic experiences available to the public ear. Couch Slut is no exception to this rule.

Take A Chance On Rock 'n' Roll is the third full-length from the New York five-piece and is undeniably their heaviest and strongest release to date. I first came across the group's second LP, Contempt, when it released in 2017, but couldn't really get into it, as I was still getting a grasp for eclectic music at that point. Their most recent effort, however, after developing a more acquired taste in aural art, has blown me away. This album is a half-hour of being hog-tied and flogged to near-death, only to a day later wanting to do it again. 

Absolutely everything about Take A Chance On Rock 'n' Roll is uncomfortable. Aside from constantly somersaulting between slamming hardcore, hypnotizing noise rock, and pummeling sludge metal, the most blatant form of suffering shows itself in the form of Megan Osztrosits' lyrics and vocal performance. Sure, I may be biased as primarily a vocalist myself, but this is different. Tales of traumatizing sexual violence and general abuse are hard to listen to normally, but when coming from the power violence-esque shriek of Osztrosits, the weight becomes even more massive. This isn't to discount the instrumentation, however, as the dual guitar attack creates thick walls of fuzz sharply penetrated by the punchy drums and chunky bass lines. While the Uncanny Valley showed itself on Bible Songs 1 in the form of literal artificiality, Couch Slut is constantly pushing how far they can take their music.

"The Mouthwash Years" leads off this release, hauling in a grimy sludge that is sure to give any Melvins track a run for its money in weight. The main riff is extremely addictive and with a short runtime, it completely drives it through the next cut. The first three songs on Take A Chance On Rock 'n' Roll are seemingly woven into each other, creating a massive eight-minute opener that left my jaw visibly dropped.  "Carousel of Progress" follows in the opener's wake and slams into a mosh-ready punk track and is able to maintain if not exceed the instrumentation of what preceded it. Both of these are rather standard examples of the genres they occupy but are executed with masterful efficiency and maturity. "All The Way Down" takes this and stamps on it with a bloody steel-toed boot, however, throwing aside these influences for a mesmeric display of noisy and feedback-heavy guitar lines, while Osztrosits wails mimic something truly sinister, and the drums keep everything in an 'organized' display of chaos. It is among the shining stars of the tracklist and ends the opening of this release on an exponential upward trend.

Following this is "The Stupid Man," which to me emanates the heaviness of Primitive Man and later-era Indian. Trudging very slowly in comparison to the three cuts before it, this song is five minutes of smashing your head into the dirt over and over again. While showing far more melody than the influences I listed, this does not take away from the brutality of this track as a whole. Unrelenting until this point, Couch Slut does not hold any stops here, and "In A Pig's Eye" is another spiraling descent into hardcore punk meets noise rock aggression. A "clean" guitar lead leads the hysteria, and snarling vocals jump on to accompany the instrumentation into lunacy. Up until this point in the tracklist, each song has only surpassed the previous in quality, and I would be lying if I said that the last 4 didn't follow this pattern.

"Topless and Bottomless" is another driving noise rock track thick with fuzz and riddled with feedback interruptions. The lyrics are as repulsive and hard to listen to as ever, and the "verse"'s riff is one of the most memorable of this year. The hardcore energy on this track aids it in is progression throughout its three-minute runtime and exudes its moshability onto the track like no other. "I'm 14" is the most difficult track to listen to lyrically, for reasons I do not feel totally comfortably discussing. The noise is extremely gritty for the first half, feeling similar to no-wave, which at this point I am realizing has a massive impact on Couch Slut's sound. The warbling trumpet solo at the end of this track helps push this point, but the unbridled aggression of this release feels like it was spawned out of late 1970s New York. 

After this is the interlude of the album, "-." As far as quick and dramatic piano ballads go, this track is fine. While it doesn't add anything special to the release, it provides a very necessary point of relief and leads into the final track, "Someplace Cheap" wonderfully. This song is downright menacing. The dissonant noise rock riff drives the track as Osztrosits speaks a tale of a night out turning sour to an epic climax at the end of the song. I love the build that this track so naturally culminates; the story is as haunting as the music surrounding it, and the explosion comes out of seemingly nowhere and returns the aggression that has been harbored this entire release. As a closer, this track does a great job at setting the mood to a somewhat calm demeanor, yet holds the anxiety of Couch Slut's music overall. Even though this album is only half an hour, it feels massive. The entire performance is monolithic in scale, heavier than one would expect upon seeing the title. What does Take A Chance On Rock 'n' Roll mean? I don't know. The only thing I am sure of if how strong this effort is. Filled to the brim with so much hatred, disgust, contempt, and revulsion, Couch Slut has pierced through the "manly" image of metal and distorted it to invert the roles, creating a female force of anger and rage unlike any other. This release has already jumped through several rungs of my top albums of the year, and will most likely rest there for good, and when PMMetalGuide creates their list in December, I can almost guarantee it will see a spot as one of the best albums of 2020. 

Final Verdict: Unquestionably one of the heaviest releases of the year.

Favorite Tracks: "The Stupid Man," "Someplace Cheap," "All The Way Down"

FFO: Today Is The Day, Indian, The Austerity Program

Track List

1. "The Mouthwash Years"

2. "Carousel of Progress"

3. "All The Way Down"

4. "The Stupid Man"

5. "In A Pig's Eye"

6. "Topless and Bottomless"

7. "I'm 14"

8. "-"

9. "Someplace Cheap"

You can support Couch Slut on their Bandcamp.